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Writing Wedding Vows
The most important part of your wedding ceremony are your vows to each other. Reciting your wedding vows to each other make your wedding romantic, unique and meaningful. Your vows may be either religious or secular. Each vow can be a combination of traditional vows and your own unique affirmations of love, life, partnership and individuality. Vows that come from your heart can make your wedding memorable and establish the basis for your married life together.
Finding or creating your own original wedding vows takes a little effort, but writing wedding vows are not difficult if you understand the process.You can use the samples below or add poetry, passages from the Bible or get ideas at libraries, book stores, greeting card shops and from other couple's weddings.
Choosing your wedding song and wedding vow is a great way to begin planning a wedding. Choosing a wedding song may give you some ideas for your vows. Or, your vows may inspire you to choose the right wedding song. Use your wedding vows and wedding song early to set the theme for your wedding. Once you've crafted your words carefully you can use them in your wedding invitations and carry your unique wedding theme into the decorations for the wedding ceremony and the reception.
It's advisable to share you vows with the person chosen to officiate at your wedding ceremony. They may have their own likes and dislikes regarding your vows or may even expect you to memorize their choice of vows. Don't leave this to the last minute as you may be able to work something out if there's a disagreement, or choose another officiate, if necessary.
Don't forget to print a copy of your wedding vows for your wedding invitations or for future use in your wedding photo album or to frame them to enjoy daily in your home. You might also consider using a special passage from you vows to engrave on your wedding rings.
Writing Your Wedding Vows Together
If you are going to say the same vows to one another, it will be more meaningful if you write your vows together. Try the following:
First, be certain to do this when you and your fiancé can be alone. You won't want others to disturb you, so ensure that you can have some privacy. Each of you should grab some paper and a pen or pencil. Set a time limit for how long you are going work separately. Agree to rejoin each other in a half hour or so.
Go to separate rooms. Make sure you are comfortable and not worried about being disturbed.
Write a letter to your fiancé telling them why you love them. Do not make this short and sweet. Instead, elaborate, go in-depth, and be creative.
Write 2-3 of your favorite times together - the times when you laughed so hard you cried, or when s/he was there for you, or an inside joke, or something that happened long ago that you haven't thought about it in a long time.
Write down the scriptures, quotes, and songs that you are using at your wedding. Reflect on these and write what they mean to you or the most important part of them.
Now, get back together and either switch papers, or take turns reading your letters and stories to one another.
When you are finished crying, hugging and smiling, discuss what you thought were the best parts of each of your letters and stories. Are there a few things you can pick out that you could say as vows?
Writing Your Wedding Vows Separately
If you are writing your vows individually try the following:
Get together with your significant other and set some general guidelines for your wedding vows. Decide how long they should be, that they should use the words "I love you" or "You are my best friend", etc. in them. If you want to be more unique, decide which words of phrases you don't want to include. You can choose to recite different words or each of you may wish to recite the same words exactly. It's up to you and your fiance. If either of you have difficulty memorizing words or get nervous in front of a crowd, keep it short and simple. Chosing your own words will help. When you get the chance to be alone, talk about how you met, what you felt when you realized you were in love, and how you felt when you decided to propose or accept the marriage proposal. Write down descriptive words for these feelings. For example "love", "forever", "journey", etc.
Think about your relationship. Has there been a theme to your relationship, a favorite song, words you enjoy saying to one another, or pet names? Write these down. Don't be afraid to inject a hint of humor. In that breif moment of laughter you can take another deep breat and break the tension when you get shaky knees, dry mouth or you're perspiring profusely. Remember that this is is a serious occassion so don't over do it.
Now think about how you can bring these things together. Think about what you like about the traditional vows and what you don't like. For the parts you don't like, how could you change them to your own words, to make them better?
Start writing your vows!
Sample Wedding Vows - Basics
Here are some samples of vows and verses that can help you to create your own wedding vows:
I, ______, choose you, ______, as my best friend for life.
I, ______, choose you, ______, to embark upon this great journey of marriage with me.
I, ______, take you, ______ ,as my soulmate and companion.
I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife, my partner, my friend, my confidant, my soulmate.
Together, we can accomplish anything.
Together, we will be better than we could be alone.
Together, we will share our love with the world.
Together, our love will grow into a bond too strong to break.
Our love may be like the ebb and tide of the ocean, but it will always flow.
Through the good and bad, I want you to always know that I will be by your side.
I will be there for you in the ups and downs of life.
I pledge my all to you.
Sample Wedding Vows - Traditional
I, _______, take you, _______, to be my (husband/wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, so long as we both shall live.
In the name of God, I, _______ take you, _______ to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."
Sample Wedding Vows - Pledges
In sickness, I will nurse you back to health. In health, I will encourage you on your path. In sadness, I will help you to remember. In happiness, I will be there make to memories with you. In poverty, I will do all that I can to make our love rich. And in wealth, I will never let our love grow poor.
When you need someone to encourage you, I want it to be me. When you need a helping hand, I want it to be mine. When you long for someone to smile at, turn to me. When you have something to share, share it with me.
Though life may not always be as perfect as it is at this moment, I vow to always keep my love as pure as it is today. I promise to be there for you in your laughter and your tears, in your sickness and your health, in your comfort and your fears, in your poverty and your wealth. I know that our love is heaven sent, and I promise to be there for you for all your life, come what may.
We have already been through a lot together, and I believe that God has been preparing us for this moment and for our future together. I promise to keep the good memories alive, and to let the bad ones die. I vow not to let the sun go down on our anger, and to treat each morning as a new day to love you, the gift I have been given. I will not forsake you or these vows that we have made, but rather strive to show you my love for the rest of our lives. This is my promise to you.
______, I have lived with you and I love you. Today I give myself to be your husband/wife and I take you to be my wife/husband. Whatever life may bring, I will love you and care for you always.
_________, with free and unconstrained soul, I give you all I am and all I am to become. Take this ring, and with it my promise of faith, patience, and love, for the rest of my life
I, ____________, take you, ____________, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us. ____________, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the name of God.
I, ______, take you, ______, as my best friend for life. I am so in love with you that I want to promise to stand beside you through thick and thin, through good and bad, through joy and sorrow. I want to spend the rest of my life hearing your thoughts and seeing your dreams. I promise to do my best to make our lives better and better from this day on because I am so amazed by you. This is my solemn vow. May this ring forever be to you the symbol of my growing love.
From this moment, I, Name, take you, Name, as my best friend for life. I pledge to honor, encourage, and support you through our walk together. When our way becomes difficult, I promise to stand by you and uplift you, so that through our union we can accomplish more than we could alone. I promise to work at our love and always make you a priority in my life. With every beat of my heart, I will love you. This is my solemn vow.
I, ______, take you, ______, as the love of my life. I vow to be patient with you and the circumstances in our lives. I vow to be kind to all people we come across. I vow not to be boastful of our love or about our accomplishments. I promise to be proud of you, but not proud in love for though I will strive for perfection, I know I can never reach it. I promise not to be quick to anger, but to think before I speak and act. I vow not to keep a record of wrongs, but to always keep the happy memories alive. Through God, our love will never fail.
I, ______, choose you, ______, as my everything. I vow to love you through sickness and health, through the good and the bad, through richer and poorer. You are everything I need, and at this moment I know that all my prayers have been answered and that all of my dreams have come true. This is the moment I have waited my whole life for. I promise to give you my all and I know that I could not ask for more from you. I love you and always will. This is my solemn vow.
In the name of God, I, ________ take you, __________ to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.
From this moment, I, _______, take you, _______, as my best friend for life. I pledge to honor, encourage, and support you through our walk together. When our way becomes difficult, I promise to stand by you and uplift you, so that through our union we can accomplish more than we could alone. I promise to work at our love and always make you a priority in my life. With every beat of my heart, I will love you. This is my solemn vow."
Groom:
There was darkness for a long time and then there was light, and that light was you. Your love has given me wings, and our journey begins today. I pledge before this assembled company to be your husband from this day forward. Let us make of our two lives one life. I want you for today, tomorrow, and forever.
Bride:
I have dreamed my whole life of having someone as wonderful as you love me the way you do. I give myself to you as your wife, and I promise here to treasure for all of my days the love we celebrate today. Let us bring together our lives and find ourselves anew each day.
In the name of God, I, ___________ take you, _________ to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.
I, ____________, take you, ____________ to be no other than yourself, in all the ways life may find us, tending you in sickness and rejoicing with you in health, as long as we both shall live to love.
__________, you are my beloved, to love and to cherish, and to have and to hold, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, in sadness and in joy, to share our lives together, from this day forward.
Wedding Vow Checklist:
Print out two copies of this checklist. Take one and give the other to your fiancé and take two blank pieces of paper each also. Go to separate rooms to complete these questions. When you are finished, there are more instructions at the bottom.
1. Write down any scriptures or other readings for your wedding (or make sure to bring them with you).
2. Write down your favorite lines from any solos being sung at your wedding or from your First Dance song.
3. Write down any favorite quotes you may have or sayings that have been meaningful to your relationship.
4. On the blank piece of paper you brought with you, write a letter to your fiancé using the following instructions:
Begin with a salutation that is very heartfelt; For example, "My Dearest...", or something to that effect.
In the first paragraph, tell him/her how much s/he means to you and your life.
Begin the next paragraph with the words, "It seems like only yesterday that..." Run with it.
In the next paragraph tell him/her how you felt when you realized you were in love with them.
In this paragraph, tell him or her what marriage means to you. What aspects of being married are you looking forward to? What are some of your fears? How are you going to address these fears if and when they come about?
Finally, close your letter with words of love and thanksgiving for your significant other.
5. Now, get back together with your fiancé and switch both this paper and the letters you have written.
6. When you are finished reading each other's papers, go back through and underline your favorite sentences or words of your fiancé's answers and letter.
7. Now, discuss.
8. On another sheet of paper, write down your brainstorms. Start your vows with something close to the effect of "I ______, take you, ______." or, "I ______ choose you, _______". This will get the ball rolling. Continue writing, using the sentences and words you found most meaningful to you and your relationship.
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